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Top Ten Signs You're Too Old To Be Trick-Or-Treati
Post by Noah on Oct 31st, 2003, 11:25am

Top Ten Signs You're Too Old To Be Trick-Or-Treating

10. You get a candy apple and mutter, "Oh yeah, my dentures will love this"
9. You're dressed as a surgeon; earlier in the day you actually performed surgery
8. Not many "Aren't you cutes" but plenty of "I'm calling the cops"
7. Every three houses you need a smoke break
6. Chaos ensues when you confuse an M&M with your heart medication
5. You're dressed as America's favorite movie star, Tyrone Power
4. At the end of night you don't have many treats, but you got a few dates with divorcees
3. Frequently forgo the candy and ask to use the bathroom
2. Your "trick" involves driving rascal scooter across lawn
1. Wrap things up early so you can get home to watch CBS